A weighty issue

Hello

I thought I would blog about weight..I know I am currently overweight and its something that is very fustrating to me as I think when youre older it is more difficlut to lose weight or am I making excuses hmm...

I guess it goes back to my childhood mum fed me well and this didnt even phase me until the dreaded highschool started and I realised that the other kids were slim, pretty and popular unfortunatly the first week of school I had already been labelled as the part of the dork squad and thus started my five year long bullying campaign by the cruel sods to this day it is something you never forget or maybe even forgive. When I left school (thankfully) I started college and wanted to do a performing arts diploma I had always loved dance and had danced since the age of 3 but my weight is someting that ultimatly got in the way. My dance teachers wouldnt pressure me but would advise that if im to dance en pointe then its not fair for my feet to carry the extra weight I also had a ballet shoe shop fitter tell me the same thing of course you normally get pretty defensive and dont see it yourself..

I decided to still go to college and on the first day made friends starightway which was a new thing to me after the past school years it turned out they were all on the Equestrian course not wanting to leave my new friends I decided to do the same course even though I had only sat on a horse a couple of times in my life and I had to convince the course director that I belonged there it felt like destiny, thankfully it was and it paid off equalling in a few certificates under me belt and I worked my way up in the equestrian world competing and judging and attending big flashy shows and feeling proud that I had been a part of that horses training that had won the championship that weekend and even season..ok Ive gone off track a bit there but nevermind it paints the picture.

When I was 18 it hit home eventually that my weight something had to be done so me and mum enrolled with slimming world and I lost a starggering 4 stone for the first time in my life I could fit in clothes from new look and even the shops manager notcied a big change in my appearence and congratulating me I felt so happy to pick up small sizes.

My weight went up and down a little bit then it shot up when I joined a Sea cadet club as an instructor I started to to eat unhealthy snacks late at night and of course the weight piled on it wasnt till I saw a picture of me that it shocked me back to reality I would still see that slim person in the mirror not the fat one looking back at me apprently this is common. So back to square one and the diet began again this time I started exercising using a gym and running I entered into races to give me extra incentive I slimed down wonderfully again fitting in all my favourite brands. Then my weight went back and forth back and back and forth. When I worked in fashion I got slim again and would get to take part in fashion shows and even modelling bridal wear which those dresses are quite evil at times and unforgiving now I look back and think how did I ever fit into that and those jeans that are still in my wardrobe ekkk I think ive lost count how many times ive lost weight gained weight and I think its something I will constantly battle with.

I wish a thousand times over that I had been born a natural slim person with a fast metabolism and could shop in Topshop with ease haha. I hate being overweight though people are kind and say but youre not fat I sometimes feeling like screaming YES I AM look at me., its cause I know how I can look and the pure fustration that I have let myself go again..

So thus next week after giving myself time to get over the flu properly I am back to Yoga my new venture Belly Dancing ( massive woo hoo here) and running cause I find running is the most effective way of getting the pounds off and it burns fat immedialty I know of all the foods I should be eating to compliment this too it just that Im rather impatient and want to be slim again yesterday. I know once I kick start it again I hopefully can get there so as extra incentive the Belly Dance teacer has said there is a chance to do demo perfomances well im buggered if im going up on a stage a jelly belly no thank you and also I am aiming to take part in a Spartan race which is a run over a obstacles course and mud! to add a extra bit of zing I will do this for charity it will be animal charity of some sort I havent decided yet there so many so worthy of help so that is always a tough decision to make. Right well i've now got this weighty issue of my mind time to get it off my body wish me luck! xx